One Voice: Chapter 6

You expected Beil to say something rude again when you came back around lunchtime. You walked in, rolling a cart with plates of food on it in front of you. But, he remained silent. You could feel his gaze on you while you gave the other men their food. You got to the man who was next to him. He was one of the ones with an amputated arm. His name was Frederick Eisenberg. You smiled, thinking about your brother.

"Good afternoon Herr Eisenberg, how are you feeling?" you asked as you placed the plate of food on a tray.

"I'm doing better." he said quietly.

You smiled and put the tray on his lap, like he wanted.

"Fräulein _______, will you answer me truthfully?" he asked quietly, looking at the food in his lap.

You almost frowned. He sounded upset. "Ja." you replied.

You sat down in the chair next to his bed. He gulped and said, "I have a girl back at home. Do you think she…" He trailed off, looking at his stump. You gulped and swallowed back tears.

"Do you think she loves you?" you asked quietly.

He nodded. You gently put a hand over his heart. "Then she should care about what is here," you moved your hand to his shoulder, "Not here."

He blinked at you hand and then he looked at you. He smiled. "Have faith in her, Herr Eisenberg." you said, getting up. You patted his shoulder and moved back to your cart. You still had to feed Beil.

You moved your cart to the foot of his bed. "Wow Fräulein that was deep." he said with a chuckle.

You frowned and flicked his leg. "Ow! Okay I'll stop!" he hissed.

You couldn't help but think about where those words came from. You usually weren't good at talking to people. You grinned in satisfaction. You helped somebody today at least.

"So, Fräulein," Beil said.

You sighed. What now?

"How did you get Lud to talk to you? Usually he would not care or he would be too shy!" he laughed. You rolled your eyes.

"How do you know Ludwig?" you asked. You got his plate of food of the cart and you handed it to him.

"I was friends with his bruder, Gilbert. Gil and I used to pick on him a lot when he was little." he said. You sighed. How did that not surprise you?

"Don't give me that Fräulein. We did it so that he could defend himself. No one would mess with him because we made him so tough!" he said.

He scratched his chin. "Now that I think about it Fräulein, were you not scared of him at first?"

You frowned at him and moved to flick his leg again. "Nevermind!" he said quickly. You sniffed in displeasure.

You sat in the chair next to his bed. You were convinced that he knew Ludwig now.

"So what did you mean that he didn't care?" you asked.

Beil stuck a piece of potato in his mouth. "In school, when we could afford to go that is, he would never look at pretty girls! He always had his nose in a text book."

You frowned. "So, Herr Beil, you were very close to Ludwig and his bruder?" He looked up from his food in surprise.

"So, he actually told you about m- Gilbert?" Your frown got bigger. Did he almost say me?

"Ja, he was very fond of Gilbert."

Which was true. Ludwig talked about his bruder a lot at one of your dates. "He never mentioned a Gisil Beil to me though." you said.

He took another bite of potatoes. "What?! That arsch!" You smacked his leg.

"Ow! Quit that!"

"The worse the word the harder I'll hit! And don't call Ludwig names!" you said with a scowl.

He scowled back. He sighed and took another bite. "So, what was Ludwig like when he was little?" you asked.

Beil laughed. "Awkward! He was so quiet and shy and Gil and I picked on him constantly! He soon started scowling and yelling. He used to talk like that. He would yell everything."

Your eyebrow rose. And I wonder why, you thought. "Mutti used to get so mad at us! She would be like 'Gilbert! Stop picking on him!' And I would just laugh. Mutti always got mad at me and never at Lud. But, how can you get mad at this awesomeness?" he laughed.

Your eyebrows rose to your hairline. You remembered a conversation with Ludwig. He told you about how Gilbert would always call himself awesome. And how he looked. You frowned. But wait, you thought, Gilbert was shipped away to a camp! How can he be alive and sitting in front of me? You thought about it as Beil continued about how awesome he was. This man acts exactly like how Ludwig described, you thought. You nodded slightly. You had to make sure.

"Anyway, what did he say about Gilbert?" he asked.

You tried to think of an answer that would make him slip again. You had to stop yourself from chuckling. "Ludwig told me that he was the nicest bruder in the world."

"That's a lie! I shoved him down all the time and I always drank his beer!" he exclaimed.

You grinned. Bingo. "See you later, Gilbert Beilschmidt." you said quietly, taking his empty plate and walking away before he could react to your accusation.

*********

You ripped off the paper operating mask you were wearing as you walked out of the operating room. Clara was right behind you. You both flinched when you saw the man that was being worked on be wheeled away.

"I hate working on shrapnel operations!" Clara said, wiping away tears. You nodded. That man wasn't going to survive. You wiped your own tears away.

"Ja." You couldn't think of anything else to say. You looked at the clock and sighed. It was almost dinnertime.

That means that you had to face 'Beil' again.

"_______, I've noticed something." Clara said. You looked at her.

"All of the nurses they brought are really pretty. Do you think they did that on purpose?" she asked.

You sighed and nodded. "Most of the men in here won't come out alive or normal. What man would want to look at an ugly nurse?" you said.

You hated that you knew that this was true. Clara nodded.

"I feel so sad though. How are we supposed to comfort them when we feel like crying ourselves?!" she whimpered. You shrugged.

"I don't know. War hurts everybody." you said before walking away.

You took the operating robe off and smoothed your dress out. You hung it on one of the pegs outside the operating room and you threw the gloves in the trash. You went down to the kitchen and you got the men's meals. You wheeled your cart into the room and most of the men greeted you with smiles and hello's. Except 'Beil'. You sighed. Maybe you were wrong about him. You handed out the meals and you finally made it to 'Beil's' bed. He had a huge scowl on his face. You quietly handed him his food.

"That was fiching sly earlier Fräulein."

Smack!

Beil, or Beilschmidt, clutched his leg. "You almost hit it directly that time!" he yelped.

"I already warned you! The worse the word the harder the slap." You paused and leaned down really close.

"Gilbert." you said quietly.

He looked around in panic. I can't believe it, this is really Gilbert, you thought. He motioned for the curtains around his bed to be closed. You closed them.

"What's wrong Beil?! Shy?!" one of the men guffawed.

Gilbert rolled his eyes and whispered, "You CAN'T tell anyone. The Gestapo thinks I'm missing or dead and they cannot find me!"

It was your turn to roll your eyes as you sat down. "I'm not going to tell anyone you dumkauf! But how are you here?! Ludwig told me that they took you!" you hissed quietly.

Gilbert sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

He leaned close. "You care about my bruder right?" he asked.

You frowned. "Of course I do!" you said.

He nodded and said quietly, "I escaped. They fiching loaded the awesome me and a bunch of Judens and other political prisoners on a cattle car."

He laughed with no humor at your expression, which was shock. "Bet you didn't know that huh? About the Judens? Anyway, they packed us on there like cattle. We couldn't move and we could only stand. People died standing up Fräulein, they couldn't fall down like they're supposed to because we were crushed so close to each other. I decided to not let the awesome me go out that way."

He clutched his plate. "So, I switched places with living and dead men to get near the door. I picked the lock and I jumped out into the river we were passing over. I swam out and I walked through the snow for about 5 kilometers. I finally found a small farm and I asked the old man who owned it if I could work there. I stayed there with him and his son for a couple years. I was Gisil Beil to them. I decided to lay low and wait for the war to end before heading back home.

"The army came by and made the kid and I join. I knew what would happen if I resisted again so I had to. I've been a foot soldier for two years. Then I got shot three months ago. And now you see the awesome me here."

He looked at you after he finished his story. You blinked. It could have happened. You were smart enough to know that.

"Why didn't you contact Ludwig?" you asked quietly.

He shook his head. "Too risky. That would have put Ludwig and me in danger." he said.

You sighed and rubbed your temples. This was too much.

"So you're telling me that you jumped out of a moving train into a river and you survived?" you asked.

"Ja."

You sighed and said, "Alright. I believe you, barely."

Gilbert laughed. "I see why Lud likes you now. You're as serious as him!" You rolled your eyes.

"So Fräulein, how did you steal my bruder's heart?" he asked. You could feel your face heat up.

"We met at a New Year's party. We started to talk and-"

"Wa-wa-wa-wait! Wait! Ludwig talked to you first?"

"Ja, sort of."

"Sort of?"

"He wanted to know if I wanted him to leave!"

Gilbert laughed. "Was?"

You fingered the edge of your dress.

"I was standing out on the balcony at the party and he walked out there. Then he asked if I wanted him to leave."

Gilbert blinked in surprise before laughing again. "Ok, I need to hear the whole story." he said.

So, you told him the whole story. Of course you left out die Weisse Rose and how you thought Ludwig would have turned you over to the Gestapo. Gilbert studied you for a moment.

"Was?" you asked.

Gilbert made a face and he said, "So, you weren't scared of him?"

You looked at him in surprise. "No. Warum?"

Gilbert sighed and said, "I tried to introduce a lot of girls to Lud. They would look at him and stick up their noses or they would just walk away. They always said that he looked scary when I asked them about it."

You couldn't believe it. Sure, Ludwig was big, but you didn't think that he was scary. "I can't believe that!" you said angrily.

How dare they just judge him?! Gilbert jumped in surprise at your outburst.

"Ludwig is a very kind man! He is gentle and sweet and he has a wonderful voice!" you said.

If you were standing, you would have had your hands on your hips. Gilbert blinked in surprise and he studied you a little more. He smiled and started chuckling. "I see how you won him over." he said.

"How?"

"You didn't run away from him."

You both sat in silence. You bit your bottom lip. Gilbert sighed and patted your hand.

"Go  Fräulein, I can tell you more about Lud tomorrow." You nodded and stood up.

Then you remembered his language during his story. You frowned and smacked his leg before leaving.

"That is getting old!" he yelped as you walked away with a smug grin on your face.

************

You got your mail three nights later before going back to your room. You had talked to Gilbert for a long time again. You smiled. You were finding out more and more about Ludwig's childhood from his brother. You really enjoyed your conversations with Gilbert. Even though you had to smack his leg a lot.

You sat on your bed and you looked at them. One was from your Vatti. One from Monika. One from Maddie. Your heart leaped at the last letter. Ludwig. You ripped that one open first.

________,

I almost dropped my beer when I read that you were coming out here. I can't tell if I'm shocked or angry. I'm just worried that you're going to be so close to Leningrad. We bomb them daily and the Soviets try to shoot us down.

I feel terrible _______. Why can't I be a real man and kill other men instead of women and children? I feel like I have a piece of shrapnel in my gut and it keeps twisting every time my men release the bombs. I just want my next furlough to come faster, or something.

How are you? I know that being a nurse can be hard. How are you coping? I bet that every man is lucky to be under your care.

Write back as soon as you can.

Ludwig

You smiled. Trust Ludwig to write a short and sweet letter. You thought about his comment about how he hurts when he goes on a bombing raid. You clutched the letter to your chest. You wanted to understand his pain. You jumped when your door burst open. It was Doctor Schmidt.

"Fräulein ________! Two planes were taken down and we need your help!" he said, trying to straighten his spectacles. You nodded and quickly put on your shoes.

You ran down the hallway with him. You got to the operating rooms. You quickly put on an operating robe and some gloves. You pulled the mask over your head.

"Now, this man is a very important pilot. He's one of the best! We have to get him through this!" Schmidt exclaimed. You nodded and followed him inside. You looked at who was on the table.

Ludwig.

You froze. You couldn't breathe. You felt like your heart stopped beating. You ran over to his side.

"Ludwig!" you exclaimed.

His face was contorted with pain. You looked down and gasped. There was a huge gash going across his abdomen. You could see some small bits of metal. Shrapnel.

"No. No no no no no." you said as you grabbed his hand.

Schmidt looked at you. "You know him?" he asked.

You nodded. "He's my…" you trailed off as you looked at Ludwig's face again.

You heard Schmidt sigh and he said, "Alright, comfort him. He'll need it." You nodded and kept your gaze on Ludwig's face.

His eyes opened a slit.

"Ludwig!" you said with a sad smile.

"_______?" he asked. He grunted in pain again.

"Shhh, don't talk." you said gently.

His grip on your hand tightened. "We're out of morphine!" a nurse exclaimed.

Your heart dropped. The hospital had been low on morphine; now there was none. You looked at Ludwig in dismay. He had small bits of shrapnel in his abdomen and there were no painkillers to help.

"It's going to be ok Ludwig." you tried to say reassuringly.

Ludwig nodded and grunted in pain again.

Schmidt walked back over. "We'll have to operate without morphine." he whispered in your ear.

You bit your lip. You looked down at Ludwig and you got closer to him.

"Ludwig, we are out of painkillers because shipments couldn't get in. Are you alright with them operating?" you asked quietly.

He looked at you. You could see the determination in his eyes. He nodded. You looked at Schmidt. The doctor grunted and told the rest of the staff to get ready. You held Ludwig's big hand inside of both of yours.

You tried to stop crying. "It's going to be fine. You'll see." you said.

Ludwig reached up with his other hand and brushed a tear away. "Stop. I don't like seeing you cry." he managed to get out.

This made your tears come faster.

"We're ready to operate." another nurse said. Ludwig's grip on your hand relaxed and he closed his eyes. You saw him try to relax his whole body. Schmidt began the operation. Ludwig's grip suddenly became crushing and you saw the muscles in his jaw tense.

You focused on his hand in yours. You couldn't look at his face. His grip became tighter and tighter as the operation went on. He didn't utter a peep. He grunted a few times but that was it. His grip made your hand go numb though. You could see his other hand clawing at the operating table. You brought your face to his hand. You were glad that you could be here for him. You were glad that you could share his pain.

Schmidt stitched the last stitch in. Ludwig's grip suddenly relaxed. You looked and saw that he had passed out.

"Pain finally got to him." one of the nurses said.

They bandaged Ludwig up and they began to roll him out of the room.

"He'll be put in your care Fräulein _______." Schmidt said, cleaning off his glasses as he walked beside you.

You haven't let go of Ludwig's hand still. You nodded and remained silent as they rolled Ludwig into the room you were assigned to. They rolled him over to the bed next to Gilbert. The man was snoring and he was halfway off his bed.

They moved Ludwig to the other bed and they rolled it away. You gulped and brushed some of Ludwig's hair off his forehead.

"He'll make it. The shrapnel just grazed him, it didn't embed itself. The little bits were just leftovers." Schmidt explained.

You nodded and sat down in the chair next to Ludwig's bed. Schmidt patted your shoulder.

"Get some rest Fräulein. You both need strength." You nodded and Schmidt left.


You sighed and laid your forearms next to Ludwig. You watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful. You laid your head down on your arms.

You were not going to leave his side.